Emotionally focused therapy / EFT-A03-1
Attachment Need Words — Concept brief
Understand the idea behind attachment need words and consider whether it fits your context.
8 minutes · Handout · Adults; supported use as appropriate
Fictional example: Alex wants a brief message when plans change.
Use an ordinary or fictional example, with a clinician when appropriate. A need for connection can be stated without demanding a specific response.
The idea
A need for connection can be stated without demanding a specific response.
An ordinary example
Alex wants a brief message when plans change.
What this can look like
Translate an ordinary complaint into a feeling and a request for reassurance, accessibility, or clearer contact.
Check the fit
What request feels specific, voluntary, and answerable? You may disagree with the framing, use fiction, or decide that this approach is not useful today.
A useful distinction
An interaction cycle is a relational map, not a way to split responsibility equally for abuse or excuse harmful behavior.
Prompts for this resource
- What part of this idea makes sense to me?
- What request feels specific, voluntary, and answerable?
Conceptual background
What is EFT? — International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.