Emotionally focused therapy / EFT-A05-3
Slowing the Cycle — Clinician dialogue
Guide a collaborative conversation about slowing the cycle while checking fit and participant choice.
15 minutes · Clinician script · Mental health professionals
Fictional example: Alex and Sam notice faster speech before a discussion about chores escalates.
Use within your training and assessment of readiness. A pause can create room to notice the cycle before escalating it.
Invite and obtain permission
Offer: "Would it be useful to explore slowing the cycle using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.
Elicit before teaching
Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: A pause can create room to notice the cycle before escalating it. Ask what fits and what does not.
Guide the task
Identify an early sign of an ordinary loop and agree on a pause with a clear return plan. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Alex and Sam notice faster speech before a discussion about chores escalates.
Reflect and check accuracy
Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What would make a pause feel like care rather than disappearance? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.
Respond to a mismatch
If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.
Close with agency
Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.
Prompts for this resource
- Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
- What would make a pause feel like care rather than disappearance?
- What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?
Conceptual background
What is EFT? — International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.