Emotionally focused therapy / EFT-A10-1
Engagement without Performance — Concept brief
Understand the idea behind engagement without performance and consider whether it fits your context.
8 minutes · Handout · Adults; supported use as appropriate
Fictional example: Sam listens better while looking at a page rather than directly at Alex.
Use an ordinary or fictional example, with a clinician when appropriate. Connection need not require eye contact, touch, or a polished emotional display.
The idea
Connection need not require eye contact, touch, or a polished emotional display.
An ordinary example
Sam listens better while looking at a page rather than directly at Alex.
What this can look like
Identify accessible signs of engagement such as written reflection, a nod, or a scheduled return.
Check the fit
What does engagement look like for each of you? You may disagree with the framing, use fiction, or decide that this approach is not useful today.
A useful distinction
An interaction cycle is a relational map, not a way to split responsibility equally for abuse or excuse harmful behavior.
Prompts for this resource
- What part of this idea makes sense to me?
- What does engagement look like for each of you?
Conceptual background
What is EFT? — International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.