Emotionally focused therapy / EFT-A10-3
Engagement without Performance — Clinician dialogue
Guide a collaborative conversation about engagement without performance while checking fit and participant choice.
15 minutes · Clinician script · Mental health professionals
Fictional example: Sam listens better while looking at a page rather than directly at Alex.
Use within your training and assessment of readiness. Connection need not require eye contact, touch, or a polished emotional display.
Invite and obtain permission
Offer: "Would it be useful to explore engagement without performance using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.
Elicit before teaching
Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: Connection need not require eye contact, touch, or a polished emotional display. Ask what fits and what does not.
Guide the task
Identify accessible signs of engagement such as written reflection, a nod, or a scheduled return. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Sam listens better while looking at a page rather than directly at Alex.
Reflect and check accuracy
Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What does engagement look like for each of you? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.
Respond to a mismatch
If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.
Close with agency
Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.
Prompts for this resource
- Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
- What does engagement look like for each of you?
- What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?
Conceptual background
What is EFT? — International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.