Infidelity recovery / INF-A04-1
Defining the Agreement Breach — Concept brief
Understand the idea behind defining the agreement breach and consider whether it fits your context.
8 minutes · Handout · Adults; supported use as appropriate
Fictional example: Lee and Quinn had different stated expectations about private contact with another person.
Use an ordinary or fictional example, with a clinician when appropriate. Betrayal concerns the actual relationship agreements rather than assumptions about one relationship model.
The idea
Betrayal concerns the actual relationship agreements rather than assumptions about one relationship model.
An ordinary example
Lee and Quinn had different stated expectations about private contact with another person.
What this can look like
Describe the agreement as each person understood it, what is known to have been breached, and what remains unclear.
Check the fit
Which agreements need clarification without excusing deception? You may disagree with the framing, use fiction, or decide that this approach is not useful today.
A useful distinction
Understanding relationship context does not transfer responsibility for deception to the hurt partner or require a particular relationship outcome.
Prompts for this resource
- What part of this idea makes sense to me?
- Which agreements need clarification without excusing deception?
Conceptual background
Integrative Model of Affair Recovery — American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.