Infidelity recovery / INF-A08-3
Boundaries for the Next Week — Clinician dialogue
Guide a collaborative conversation about boundaries for the next week while checking fit and participant choice.
15 minutes · Clinician script · Mental health professionals
Fictional example: Lee wants a predictable check-in time rather than constant questioning.
Use within your training and assessment of readiness. Short-term agreements can create predictability while longer-term choices remain open.
Invite and obtain permission
Offer: "Would it be useful to explore boundaries for the next week using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.
Elicit before teaching
Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: Short-term agreements can create predictability while longer-term choices remain open. Ask what fits and what does not.
Guide the task
Choose a limited, voluntary agreement about contact, privacy, or scheduling and set a review time; exclude forced surveillance. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Lee wants a predictable check-in time rather than constant questioning.
Reflect and check accuracy
Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What agreement is clear, consensual, and reviewable? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.
Respond to a mismatch
If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.
Close with agency
Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.
Prompts for this resource
- Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
- What agreement is clear, consensual, and reviewable?
- What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?
Conceptual background
Integrative Model of Affair Recovery — American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.