Infidelity recovery / INF-A10-3
Trust through Observable Actions — Clinician dialogue
Guide a collaborative conversation about trust through observable actions while checking fit and participant choice.
15 minutes · Clinician script · Mental health professionals
Fictional example: Quinn agrees to communicate a relevant plan change at an agreed time.
Use within your training and assessment of readiness. Trust cannot be demanded and may be influenced by consistent behavior over time.
Invite and obtain permission
Offer: "Would it be useful to explore trust through observable actions using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.
Elicit before teaching
Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: Trust cannot be demanded and may be influenced by consistent behavior over time. Ask what fits and what does not.
Guide the task
Identify one realistic commitment, how it can be observed without surveillance, and what happens if it is not kept. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Quinn agrees to communicate a relevant plan change at an agreed time.
Reflect and check accuracy
Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What action can be offered without claiming it guarantees trust? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.
Respond to a mismatch
If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.
Close with agency
Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.
Prompts for this resource
- Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
- What action can be offered without claiming it guarantees trust?
- What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?
Conceptual background
Integrative Model of Affair Recovery — American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.