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Infidelity recovery / INF-A13-1

Grief for the Assumed Relationship — Concept brief

Understand the idea behind grief for the assumed relationship and consider whether it fits your context.

8 minutes · Handout · Adults; supported use as appropriate

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Fictional example: Lee misses the certainty they previously felt.

Use an ordinary or fictional example, with a clinician when appropriate. Grief can concern lost expectations as well as the relationship's future.

The idea

Grief can concern lost expectations as well as the relationship's future.

An ordinary example

Lee misses the certainty they previously felt.

What this can look like

Name expectations or meanings that changed and identify support without prescribing stages or closure.

Check the fit

What loss needs acknowledgment without being rushed toward a lesson? You may disagree with the framing, use fiction, or decide that this approach is not useful today.

A useful distinction

Understanding relationship context does not transfer responsibility for deception to the hurt partner or require a particular relationship outcome.

Prompts for this resource

  1. What part of this idea makes sense to me?
  2. What loss needs acknowledgment without being rushed toward a lesson?

Conceptual background

Integrative Model of Affair Recovery — American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.

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