Infidelity recovery / INF-A14-1
Self-Blame and Responsibility — Concept brief
Understand the idea behind self-blame and responsibility and consider whether it fits your context.
8 minutes · Handout · Adults; supported use as appropriate
Fictional example: Lee wonders whether being busy caused Quinn's deception.
Use an ordinary or fictional example, with a clinician when appropriate. Responsibility for deceptive choices should not be shifted to the hurt partner.
The idea
Responsibility for deceptive choices should not be shifted to the hurt partner.
An ordinary example
Lee wonders whether being busy caused Quinn's deception.
What this can look like
Separate relationship difficulties from the choices involved in breaking an agreement and note what remains uncertain.
Check the fit
What responsibility belongs to each person without assigning blame for another's choices? You may disagree with the framing, use fiction, or decide that this approach is not useful today.
A useful distinction
Understanding relationship context does not transfer responsibility for deception to the hurt partner or require a particular relationship outcome.
Prompts for this resource
- What part of this idea makes sense to me?
- What responsibility belongs to each person without assigning blame for another's choices?
Conceptual background
Integrative Model of Affair Recovery — American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.