Infidelity recovery / INF-A16-3
Intimacy without Pressure — Clinician dialogue
Guide a collaborative conversation about intimacy without pressure while checking fit and participant choice.
15 minutes · Clinician script · Mental health professionals
Fictional example: Lee wants shared meals but is not ready for physical affection.
Use within your training and assessment of readiness. Emotional or physical intimacy is optional and cannot be used as proof of forgiveness.
Invite and obtain permission
Offer: "Would it be useful to explore intimacy without pressure using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.
Elicit before teaching
Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: Emotional or physical intimacy is optional and cannot be used as proof of forgiveness. Ask what fits and what does not.
Guide the task
Identify wanted, uncertain, and unwanted forms of connection, including a right to change one's mind. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Lee wants shared meals but is not ready for physical affection.
Reflect and check accuracy
Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: How will consent and changing preferences be respected? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.
Respond to a mismatch
If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.
Close with agency
Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.
Prompts for this resource
- Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
- How will consent and changing preferences be respected?
- What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?
Conceptual background
Integrative Model of Affair Recovery — American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.