Infidelity recovery / INF-A18-3
Rebuilding or Separating with Care — Clinician dialogue
Guide a collaborative conversation about rebuilding or separating with care while checking fit and participant choice.
15 minutes · Clinician script · Mental health professionals
Fictional example: Lee is exploring whether to continue the relationship and wants practical clarity.
Use within your training and assessment of readiness. Planning can support either repair or separation without privileging an outcome.
Invite and obtain permission
Offer: "Would it be useful to explore rebuilding or separating with care using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.
Elicit before teaching
Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: Planning can support either repair or separation without privileging an outcome. Ask what fits and what does not.
Guide the task
Map practical needs, personal priorities, and appropriate professional consultation for the path currently being considered. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Lee is exploring whether to continue the relationship and wants practical clarity.
Reflect and check accuracy
Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What would support agency whichever path you choose? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.
Respond to a mismatch
If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.
Close with agency
Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.
Prompts for this resource
- Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
- What would support agency whichever path you choose?
- What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?
Conceptual background
Integrative Model of Affair Recovery — American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.