Infidelity recovery / INF-A19-3
Repair Review without a Scorecard — Clinician dialogue
Guide a collaborative conversation about repair review without a scorecard while checking fit and participant choice.
15 minutes · Clinician script · Mental health professionals
Fictional example: Quinn kept one commitment, while Lee still feels uncertain.
Use within your training and assessment of readiness. Review can examine actions and impact without demanding equal emotional progress.
Invite and obtain permission
Offer: "Would it be useful to explore repair review without a scorecard using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.
Elicit before teaching
Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: Review can examine actions and impact without demanding equal emotional progress. Ask what fits and what does not.
Guide the task
Compare a recent agreement with what happened and identify what needs acknowledgment, revision, or independent support. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Quinn kept one commitment, while Lee still feels uncertain.
Reflect and check accuracy
Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What can be recognized without treating uncertainty as failure? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.
Respond to a mismatch
If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.
Close with agency
Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.
Prompts for this resource
- Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
- What can be recognized without treating uncertainty as failure?
- What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?
Conceptual background
Integrative Model of Affair Recovery — American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Background on the approach only. Original exercises and wording are by More Than Therapy with AI assistance; the source does not validate or endorse these materials.