Defining My Concern in My Words — Clinician dialogue

Invite and obtain permission

Offer: "Would it be useful to explore defining my concern in my words using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.

Elicit before teaching

Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: A concern about pornography use can be explored without assuming a diagnosis. Ask what fits and what does not.

Guide the task

Describe the change you want, actual consequences, concerns about control, and personal values as distinct questions. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Noah wants to understand late-night viewing and its effect on sleep.

Reflect and check accuracy

Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What problem are you asking for help with, in your own terms? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.

Respond to a mismatch

If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.

Close with agency

Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.

Prompts for this resource

1. Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
2. What problem are you asking for help with, in your own terms?
3. What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?