Relationship Agreements about Media — Clinician dialogue

Invite and obtain permission

Offer: "Would it be useful to explore relationship agreements about media using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.

Elicit before teaching

Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: Partners can clarify agreements without assuming identical preferences. Ask what fits and what does not.

Guide the task

Privately identify preferences, boundaries, and questions; joint discussion requires safety and voluntary participation. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Noah and a partner have never clearly discussed expectations about sexual media.

Reflect and check accuracy

Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What needs clarification before a broken agreement is assumed? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.

Respond to a mismatch

If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.

Close with agency

Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.

Prompts for this resource

1. Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
2. What needs clarification before a broken agreement is assumed?
3. What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?