Repairing a Broken Agreement — Clinician dialogue

Invite and obtain permission

Offer: "Would it be useful to explore repairing a broken agreement using an ordinary or fictional example? We can adapt it, observe, or stop." Ask what the person wants from the conversation.

Elicit before teaching

Ask: "How does this show up, if at all, in your own words?" Offer this idea tentatively: Repair can acknowledge actual impact while avoiding stigmatizing labels. Ask what fits and what does not.

Guide the task

Draft an accountable statement, a consent-based next step, and a realistic review plan when an agreed boundary was breached. Ask for permission before giving an example. Use this fictional illustration if useful: Noah did not follow a mutually stated device-use agreement.

Reflect and check accuracy

Reflect only what was offered: "I heard you describe ___. What did I miss?" Ask: What action addresses the breach without demanding immediate trust? Avoid assigning motives or interpreting silence as agreement.

Respond to a mismatch

If the person rejects the frame, say: "Thank you for correcting it. What would be more useful?" Return to their language or choose a different approach.

Close with agency

Ask which observation, question, or support request the person wants to keep. Confirm a manageable ending and appropriate follow-up; do not turn a tentative possibility into a homework obligation.

Prompts for this resource

1. Readiness, permission, cultural context, and access needs to check:
2. What action addresses the breach without demanding immediate trust?
3. What would tell me to adapt, stop, or seek supervision?