Choose a recent emotion that feels manageable to explore. You can name more than one feeling, use your own words, or describe sensations instead. The aim is to understand your experience and choose a response that fits the situation.
Describe before explaining
Start with observable events. Then notice feelings, thoughts, and urges. For example, "My friend canceled" may bring disappointment, a thought that you do not matter, and an urge to stop replying. These parts are related, but they are not identical.
Ask what needs attention
An emotion may point toward a need, concern, value, or boundary. It does not automatically tell you what happened or what to do. Consider a response that addresses the need while respecting your safety and the other person’s dignity.
Reflection prompts
Use these questions in conversation, on paper, or in the downloaded PDF. You may adapt or skip a prompt.
What happened in words a camera could observe?
The feelings, thoughts, and urges I noticed
A need, value, or boundary that may need attention
One response I can choose and what I hope it will do
Facilitator notes and adaptation
Do not require precise emotion vocabulary or assume a single meaning for an emotion. Use pictures, body descriptions, or culturally familiar words. Check context before interpreting a need or selecting an action.
Sources behind the concepts
These sources inform the concepts in this original resource. They do not validate or endorse this specific page.