An urge is a signal to act, and you can sometimes choose what happens next. Select a manageable urge such as sending an angry message, withdrawing from a safe person, or giving up on a routine task.
Understand the urge
Name the emotion, what the urge promises, and what might happen if you follow it. Ask whether the action fits the facts, your safety, and your longer term goal. Some urges protect you from real harm and should not be challenged automatically.
Try a small alternative
If the urge would make the situation worse, choose a different action for the next few minutes. You might draft without sending, request a break, make a brief supportive contact, or begin one task step. Review the result; changing an action does not require pretending the feeling disappeared.
Reflection prompts
Use these questions in conversation, on paper, or in the downloaded PDF. You may adapt or skip a prompt.
My emotion, the urge, and what the urge promises
Likely short term and later effects of following it
A safe alternative that fits my goal
What happened when I tried it and what I learned
Facilitator notes and adaptation
Use with ordinary emotional urges and individualized judgment. For self harm, suicide, aggression, or dangerous substance use urges, complete appropriate risk assessment and planning rather than relying on this page.
Sources behind the concepts
These sources inform the concepts in this original resource. They do not validate or endorse this specific page.