If a strong emotion affected another person, you can acknowledge the impact and decide what to do next. Repair does not require denying your own needs. Use this page only when contact is safe and a conversation is appropriate.
Name the behavior and impact
Describe what you did without global labels or excuses. For example, "I interrupted and raised my voice" is more useful than "I am awful" or "You made me angry." Acknowledge what you know about the impact and leave room to hear the other person’s experience.
Offer a specific change
Choose an apology or acknowledgment that does not demand forgiveness. Name what you will do differently and how you will practice. You can also make a respectful request about your own needs. The other person may need time or choose not to engage.
Reflection prompts
Use these questions in conversation, on paper, or in the downloaded PDF. You may adapt or skip a prompt.
The behavior I want to take responsibility for
The impact I understand and what I still need to hear
Words I could use to acknowledge or apologize
A specific change and how I will follow through
Facilitator notes and adaptation
Do not use mutual repair language to equalize responsibility for abuse or coercion. Assess safety and consent to contact. Support accountability without pressuring forgiveness, reconciliation, or disclosure.
Sources behind the concepts
These sources inform the concepts in this original resource. They do not validate or endorse this specific page.