Use this page on your own first. Choose a small, recent disagreement. Write only what you want to share, and keep a private version if that is more comfortable.
How to use this page
Complete the three response areas. You can stop after preparing the request; sharing it is optional and depends on safety and mutual willingness.
Separate the event from its meaning
Start with something observable, such as a changed plan or an unfinished task. Then notice the meaning you gave it. "I waited without an update" and "I do not matter" are different kinds of statements. Both may be important, but your partner cannot confirm your inner meaning for you.
Name the need and the invitation
Consider whether you need information, rest, practical help, closeness, or more choice. Ask for an action the other person could understand. Leave space for a different proposal. A request allows an honest no; an agreement needs both people’s consent.
Plan for a pause
Decide what you will do if either person becomes unable to listen. Preparing a request does not oblige you to tolerate insults or pressure. Seek private support if making a request could place you at risk.
Reflection prompts
Use these questions in conversation, on paper, or in the downloaded PDF. You may adapt or skip a prompt.
- The observable event, and the meaning I gave it
- The need I want understood, and one specific request
- How I will invite a response or pause the conversation