Use this practice only when both partners freely agree and feel safe. The aim is to understand a small concern. A therapist may guide the timing or offer written turns.
How to use this page
Pick a low-stakes topic such as sharing space or scheduling. Agree that either person can pass, restart, or end the practice. Do not use a past traumatic event.
The first turn
Speaker: describe one event, its effect on you, and one hope for the conversation. Listener: offer a short summary in your own words. Ask, "What have I missed?" The speaker can correct the summary without having to prove the entire history.
The response
Listener: once the speaker feels understood enough, explain your own perspective or ask a clarifying question. Speaker: listen for something new. Understanding is not the same as accepting blame or promising a change that is impossible.
Switch and close
Switch roles if both want to continue. End with either a small next step or a clear statement that more discussion is needed. If either person feels pressured, stop. A facilitator should address the conditions of the conversation before returning to communication practice.
Reflection prompts
Use these questions in conversation, on paper, or in the downloaded PDF. You may adapt or skip a prompt.
- A phrase that helped me feel heard, or a change I would request next time