Choose one request or expectation that has felt difficult. You may use a made-up example if your own situation is too charged. This page is for preparation; sending or saying anything is optional.
How to use this page
Write, draw, or talk through the three areas. Keep attention on your available capacity and the circumstances that shape your choices.
Name the actual demand
Describe what you are being asked to do, how often, and what it would require. Include less visible work such as arranging appointments, remembering details, travel, or recovery time. Naming the work can reveal why an apparently small request feels large.
Separate preference from capacity
Consider what you want, what you can realistically offer, and what is not currently possible. A partial offer is optional, not the price of saying no. Notice any contractual, legal, caregiving, or practical obligations that need professional clarification rather than a quick script.
Choose a workable response
You might ask for time, state a limit, make a request, seek support, or postpone the conversation. Choose wording and a communication method that fit your culture, access needs, and safety. Another person’s disappointment does not automatically mean your choice was wrong.
Reflection prompts
Use these questions in conversation, on paper, or in the downloaded PDF. You may adapt or skip a prompt.
- The request, its hidden demands, and what matters to me
- What I can offer, cannot offer, or need to clarify
- My possible response, and the support or timing it needs