MORE THAN THERAPYTHE RESOURCE LIBRARY

MODULE 09 / 24 · Relationships · 15–25 MINUTES

Relationship Effectiveness: GIVE

Communicate with warmth and interest while keeping appropriate boundaries.

Try the worksheet

Understand the skill

GIVE highlights being Gentle, acting Interested, Validating, and using an Easy manner. Validation recognizes understandable experience; it does not require agreeing with a conclusion or excusing harmful behavior.

Practice step by step

  1. Choose respectful words and avoid threats or personal attacks.
  2. Listen and ask a genuine question without planning a rebuttal.
  3. Reflect one understandable feeling or perspective.
  4. Use a manner that fits the moment; serious conversations do not require humor.

TRY IT · SOLO OR WITH A GROUP

A practice activity

Listening pairs: one person describes a fictional disappointment; the other offers a reflection and a curious question before giving any advice. Swap roles or write both parts.

Group option: Work from a fictional example for five minutes, rehearse or compare choices for five minutes, then discuss one useful adaptation. Pass, write, observe, or work alone.

Your practice worksheet

Writing is optional. Responses stay in this open tab and are not submitted or automatically saved. Closing or refreshing clears them. Avoid names or identifying details. Printing or downloading includes your words.

Use paper or discuss the prompts if you prefer.

Recovery connection

A supporter can validate how difficult a craving feels while maintaining a boundary about substance use in shared space.

Facilitator notes

Discuss cultural differences in eye contact, tone, and humor. Avoid judging one style as inherently more caring.

Adaptation and care: Maintaining a relationship is not more important than safety. You do not owe continued engagement to an abusive person.

Between-session practice: Choose one manageable situation to try this skill. Notice the context, what you did, and what helped or needs adjusting. An attempt counts as practice even when feelings do not change.

Background and sources

DBT skills concepts originate in Marsha M. Linehan's work. These are original More Than Therapy activities, not reproductions of official worksheets or endorsed materials.

References inform the skill framework; they do not validate these particular exercises. Life-structure modules are DBT-informed applications, not additional standard DBT core modules.