This is a fictional example. Jordan, age eleven, asks two friends about sitting together at lunch. One friend sees the message but neither replies that evening. Jordan thinks, "They do not want me there."
How to use this page
Read the example without deciding what Jordan should feel. Pause to notice which parts are known and which are guesses. You may disagree with Jordan’s choice.
Sorting the moment
Jordan writes: Event: no reply tonight. Feelings: embarrassed and worried. Guess: they do not like me. Other possibilities: someone was busy, forgot, or did not know the plan. Jordan still feels worried after making the list.
Making a plan
Jordan decides to ask one friend privately the next morning: "Are we still sitting together?" Jordan also asks a trusted adult where to sit if plans change. The adult listens without demanding to read every message.
An ordinary ending
The friend says they had not checked the plan and suggests a table. Jordan chooses to go but asks for clearer plans next time. This ending is only one possibility. If the reply had been hurtful or there had been a pattern of exclusion, Jordan could ask an adult for more support instead of trying to solve it alone.
Reflection prompts
Use these questions in conversation, on paper, or in the downloaded PDF. You may adapt or skip a prompt.
Which choice could Jordan change to fit a different situation?
Facilitator notes and adaptation
The example illustrates uncertainty, not bullying. Clearly distinguish it from repeated or targeted mistreatment. Do not promise that asking a question will lead to reassurance or acceptance.
Sources behind the concepts
These sources inform the concepts in this original resource. They do not validate or endorse this specific page.
Developmental background for middle-childhood friendships and growing independence. Original activities use current, individualized access and safety considerations.
What Kids Can DoStopBullying.gov / U.S. Department of Health and Human Services · Accessed 2026-10-27
Conceptual reference for trusted-adult support and safety when bullying or cyberbullying occurs; these pages are not a bullying response protocol.